Fear of Failure
Posted on 12 October 2011
Most of us have remained rooted to one spot because of the fear of failure. We are risk averse. We have an idea of what we want to do, but the fear of failure throws up several dooms day scenarios, both real and imagined. What if? We ask.
The fear of failure makes failure loom larger than life. We hardly ever ponder over what failure is, and how to deal with it. Like death, we all know failure exists, but it is a subject we rather not talk about, or contemplate. It is a situation we wish was not part of life.
Failure: falling short, lack of success, bankruptcy.
Failure means many things to many people. For some, it is a temporary set back. For others, it is the end of the road, terminal.
How you look at failure will determine how you respond to it. If you think it is all over, for you it is. You get to decide when to give up. You get to decide whether it is all over, or you will give it another shot.
In a boxing match, there are time limits. When the final bell goes, it is all over. It the journey to your dream, there are no time limits except you drop dead. If you die, it is all over. Time up. If you are still alive, it is not over until you say so. You call the shots.
If failure is not terminal. It is a temporary setback. You simply fell short. Big deal, give it another shot. There are no limits to the maximum number of shots allowed. You decide when to quit. Nobody makes that decision for you.
If you have any worthwhile goal, you are sure to face setbacks. If is not a matter of if, but when…
You sure will encounter a setback. It then makes sense to prepare for it, make provisions for it, have a back-up plan or disaster recovery plan. Most of the preparation is mental.
If you know that setbacks surely will come, you will not be scared off your wits when they do show up. You will be ready. Your back-up plan will kick in. if you have none, then you will be swept off your fit.
Imagine for a moment, the TV reality show “Survivors”. The entrants are told upfront the perils they are going to face. They are aware of the water, snakes, crocodiles and the works waiting for them. They expect them to show up anytime. They are not dazed when that happens. They are aware of the dangers, but they still go for it. Maybe for the prize money, maybe for kicks I don’t know. But they feel it worthwhile to still press on after being made aware of the odds.
In our life reality show, we bury our heads in the sand and hope for the best. We don’t prepare for the water, snakes, crocodiles and co. We either sit petrified, unable to enter the water, or we jump in unprepared. When the crocs show up, we scream and run for dear life back to the shore.
Setbacks are one of the major the obstacles we will face in this journey. Like a good football coach, we have to study the opponent, and make plans to contain them. If you are aware of the odds, and you prepare adequately for them, you will feel confident. You will not fear it anymore. It will not take it by surprise. And when it does show up, you will go “Oh there you are…”
I’ll leave you with the words of William Shakespeare in Julius Caesar:
“Cowards die many times before their deaths,
The valiant never taste of death but once:
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear,
Seeing that death, a necessary end
Will come, when it will come.”
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